Frequently asked questions.
What is Relationship Intelligence?
Our brains are wired since birth from the environments we grew up in and the way we were taught to love by those who raised us. Sometimes our environments taught us to love in ways we would never willingly choose to love that sabotage ourselves and our relationships. We might feel stuck and powerless to “choose the wrong people” or “our reactions”. These ways we were taught to love are automatic and subconscious reactions—they operate whether we are aware of them or not!
These processes were wired during a time when we had no control and were helpless to our situations—when we were children. The bad news is that we cannot change the past, and we cannot change things we had no control over.
But there is good news. Now that we are adults, we do have control. We can change our environment; we can choose how we spend our time and with whom.
And we can rewire our brains!
Relationship Intelligence was created from the maxim that you can rewire your brain at any age and learn to have fulfilling relationships. And I help you with every step of the process!
What are the steps to lasting, authentic relationships?
1. Learn who you are, what you want and need, and evaluate where you are now in comparison to that (and be honest about it!).
2. Take steps to become that person; become the type of person who your ideal person would be attracted to.
3. Once you become that person (through hard and honest work!), put yourself out there and open yourself up to be willing and open when that person shows up!
What if I want to invest in improving my relationship intelligence with my partner, but they are not ready?
At the end of the day, the only person you can control is yourself, and the best way to lead is through example. If you do the hard work to be the best version of yourself, either you will inspire the people around you to be better themselves or you will meet and connect with people who are also pursuing the same goals and growth as you.
Either way, only good can come from investing in yourself and your personal and relational growth. This is why I offer the same packages to both individuals and couples. You will not miss anything if you go through the modules individually. And there is a good chance that when your partner sees how much you’ve grown, they will follow your example and invest in their own growth!
What is the most common reason smart, capable individuals fail to have lasting relationships?
There are actually two I’ve observed over the years:
1. Lack of awareness of these subconscious processes. This can be solved by making the subconscious conscious and being willing to accept and be honest about where you currently are so you can honestly look at where to go from here to get to where you want to be.
2. For those who are already aware of their own subconscious sabotages, the main reason is convincing themselves they can’t change! In more formal terms, they adopt a fixed mindset approach and believe that they are limited to the cards they were dealt. This can be solved by shifting your mindset and identity—being the kind of person who can have loving, lasting, and fulfilling relationships!
Both of these are addressed in Relationship Intelligence Coaching—I meet you where you are at in your journey!
What is the mindset to adopt to prepare for relationship success?
Being open, honest, willing to learn, willing to take a good, hard honest look at yourself, and having a growth mindset—believing you have the power to change and grow, take control ofyour life with intentional choices, and rewire your brain!
What is the difference between A-la-carte Coaching and the Journey Modules packages (1 Module, 3 Modules, or Full Journey)?
A: In A-la-carte engagements:
You decide with my help, how many sessions you’d like to invest in for the solution you’re looking for.
You bring the Agenda (Topic and desired Take-Away) and choose which “hat” you prefer I wear in the session: Coach, Consultant, or Trainer.
You have my undivided attention in-session (phone or Zoom). You have “light touch” options to reach me by way of short emails and texts, between sessions.
B: In the Journey Module packages:
You get to work toward a specific transformation—for the 1 Module and 3 Module packages, we work together to choose the modules that are most relevant for you and your needs; for the Full Journey, you are taken through the entire 6 Modules over a 6- month period of transformation.
You get multiple “hats” at different parts of the journey: Coach, Consultant, and Trainer.
You have weekly 60-minute consulting and training sessions where I support your progress in the Modules; in each session, we address different topics relevant to the Module we are working through and I will provide resources and materials such as handouts and worksheets to support you through your journey.
You get one (1) 60-minute coaching session with every Module you complete to support you exactly where you are currently at in your journey.
I create a private, collaborative digital workspace in Trello for you where you’re given a guided roadmap to lasting authentic relationships.
I populate this roadmap-driven shared space with the best resources and practices to accelerate your growth, making it ready for you to build the relationship of your dreams with confidence and excitement.
You have my undivided attention in-session (phone or Zoom). You also have unlimited access to my support in-between sessions, Monday-Friday, in your Trello Workspace.